work v.s. weekends

during my week day i'm a professional. yes, a secretary is a professional. just think about it, my job is to control chaos, get everybody where they are supposed to go and remain on top of everything at the same time. seriously, if i quit my job today, no one would have a clue as to what i do and wouldn't be able to step into my position and succeed.

and that takes a toll on me. by the end of the week, i'm exhausted.

but, weekends are a blessing. i only wish they lasted longer. it's time to relax, get some stuff done, and spend longer amounts of time with tony.
weekends remind me to be appreciative of what i have. that sounds sappy. but, every day i remind myself of how wonderful it is to be alive. to listen to the leaves rustle, baby pierce wailing because he's cutting a new tooth, the christian rock station we've taken to listening to (the instrumentals are great), waves crashing on shore, the twittering of finches in the trees on our patio, the hum of the washing machine (because it means that there's harmony in my home.) mundane chores; you know.

it's harder to have that appreciation at work. i think because people are so unhappy and they feel safe expressing their anger. personally, i find it hard to cope with on a daily basis. and that adds to my fatigue level. i have my own isses to cope with and really don't need theirs too!

so when my day is done, i look forward to a silly conversation, a hug, a joke. i guess i'm looking forward to a little healthy interaction between another person. why can't everyone try to be a little more positive? or am i just a pollyanna?

having your child move away

this is my baby girl patiently waiting in the puerto vallarta airport. she's studying japanese as we sit for forever on uncomfortable chairs.

we got there WAY ahead of time and i don't regret a moment because i knew i was going to have to say goodbye when we flew into san francisco. and i wasn't going to see her for a very long time.

that was horrible. i kissed her all over her face and cried. and on the ride home on the airbus; i cried. when i got home, i cried.

rae is now in chiba, japan and mina is in Los Angeles. they are enjoying living life now that they are out of school. my babies are real grown-up people, helping others learn and grow and i couldn't be prouder of them.

but, boy, being a mother really sucks sometimes. i worked hard at raising those two wonderful women. and, now, i have to accept that i'm not the center of their world anymore. intellectually, i have no problem with that. it's the emotional part that i, along with every other mom, find hard to deal with sometimes.

but i'm lucky as there's email and blogs and text messaging and snail mail. i'm still not the center of their world. but, i can keep informed of the good and the bad and i count myself lucky that my children are now my friends.

and, i only cry once in awhile. really.

more mexico

i really liked yelapa. something about being close to the sea, sleeping in a swinging hammock, showering with a gecko (i think that's what he was), napping during the heat of the day, and listening to the parakeets in the trees outside our palapa.

though going to mexico scared me. going to europe scared me too. but it was more of a "what if i get lost?" scared. in mexico, i understood more of the language and i worried that would get me confused.

it turned out that my limited skill with Spanish was a big help. but, i got lost a lot. to rae's dismay.

mexico mexico mexico

i haven't mentioned the trip that rae and i made to puerto vallarta. i like this photo because we are laughing. crossing a swinging bridge will do that!

i think we went twice.


the one thing i should mention is that is was stinking hot. as in really, really hot. in all of the pictures i'm beet red and sweating. rae looks cool and lovely. she said it's because she was used to japan's summer weather.

i spent a lot of my time protecting rae from unwanted male attention. i was pretty much invisible being an older woman and all.

End of the week

today was spent doing laundry, vacuuming, yard work and hosing off the car. mundane tasks.

so we rewarded ourselves by packing a small cooler full of snacks and drinks and went to the carmel river beach to lay on a blanket, soak up some sun and read.

there was a little boy who was having a great time. he clutched a plastic shovel, shreiked at the top of his lungs and taunted the ocean. i'm sure he passed out in the back seat of the car on the way home as he expended a lot of energy running in and out of the waves. sometimes he just stood on the shore yelling at the water.

then there were two poor little kids with a bad dad. i wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying but he never shut up, the kids never went in the water and the wife was ignoring him. prediction: divorce city

when we got home, T made strawberry margaritas. so we went outside and read for awhile. except for the horsefly bites, it was a really good day.

and tomorrow we are going to Seaside to hear Sista Monica at the blues in the park concert. cool, huh?

i'm so happy to be doing such things. work is so hard. i couldn't wait to be sprung on friday! my stacks of work-to-do, as usual, got taller instead of smaller. don't know how i do that.

so tired that i cried

today was the first day of school. which in my office translates to chaos. now the school sites are noisy, crowded, and confused. the district office has less bodies in it at one time but it is still noisy and confused.

exhaustion set in about two thirty pm - which is very, very bad. on a regular day, my exhaustion level peaks at about 3:45 pm. (i go home ten minutes later) and that's okay.

but, today all i could think about was going home and taking off my high heels and suit jacket. drinking a strawberry margarita sounded like a real good idea too.

but, wait, what could i be talking about?

okaaaay
my day looked like this:

- parents coming all day wanting an interdistrict transfer. which means they wanted their child/ren to attend one of our school sites. TODAY

-parents not taking the explanation that there was a waiting list and our classes are impacted (that's school-talk for "full and there's no way in hell your kid is getting in") in a graceful manner.

at least, i didn't get cursed out today

-finding out that there is no sub for the RSP (resource specialist) that quit over the summer. so her whole class of special education students have no teacher.

but it gets better. not only do those children have no teacher but two other school sites have been transfering their overflow rsp students to that site. now i have no idea how many sped kids are at that site with NO TEACHER!

- the new SDC (special day class) teacher from the phillipines has a screw-up with her visa. so she had to go back.

until october.

-the S/L (speech and language) teacher that quit over the summer likewise has no replacement. so, you guessed it, 40 or so children have no speech teacher.

-several emergency calls to me to find "lost" children. as in they didn't show up at school today. where are they?

did find two in bakersfield.

-phoned kentucky to pry sped records from them. it's 91 degrees there, by the way.

-received a fax request for sped records from a local city which shall remain nameless. this is not unusual. except that i already faxed the same records yesterday and the day before to the SAME person.

-answered innumerable phone calls with questions like: what's mckinnon's phone number? do i live in your district? when is the bus coming? can i pay for transportation? what time does school get out? i'm waiting to hear about the paper i put in. (this usually refers to the aforementioned interdistrict request). santa rita isn't picking up their phone! (because they're busy, duh). juanita's at lunch? (said in a tone of incredulity) what's mckinnon's phone number? do i live in your district?.....

-then there were the voicemails. i'm waiting to hear about the paper. call me! (usually they are on a cell phone and driving so i can only hear every other number. so there is a second voicemail. ) i JUST called; why didn't you return my call? and, of course, they either don't leave their name or their child's.

-my desk was covered in files (which translates to children) who i'm trying to track down: in our schools, monterey county schools, preschools, headstart, infant programs and out-of-state. all of which i'm to find asap. preferably yesterday.

- an IEP (individualized education program) that was faxed to me twice and is still missing.

-toss in a few purchase orders to type, files to file, letters to mail, records to copy and hey, my day was finally over.

but, it wasn't as bad as the poor little guy who was found asleep on the back seat of the school bus by a very surprised driver.

what's it cost to have a good time?

i had a BIG weekend!

Friday night was the Eagles concert. Now, i haven't been to a large concert in over 25 years and forgot what they were like. i remembered: there are lots of people, long bathroom lines, expensive food and drinks and, oh yeah, the band.

what i discovered was a lot of people having a great time, expensive food and drinks and long lines to the bathroom. so much so, that some women were stalking into the mens room to use their facilities.

i waited.

tony bought some of those glow stick/wand/bracelet thingies at the dollar store that morning. he's a genius.

we shared them with our fellow bleacher neighbors and waved those things until our arms got tired. i made mine into a blue neon bracelet and wore it to bed. it made me smile when i woke up in the middle of the night to see that thing shine.

the sky glowed and the crowd roared. it was great.

on sat. i had a craving for mexican food. oddly enough, when rae and i were in mexico we didn't eat "mexican" food. unless you count the popsicles made from crushed fruit (mango, jamaica, ummmm) and the elote that rae bought on the malecon (corn with lime juice and chili). so, we went to papa chano's on alvarado st. in monterey. after that we ran across some old sport cars that were going to be auctioned off that evening (the Concord de Elegance was going on) for big, big bucks. we ambled into the hotel on the plaza (it changed names and i can't for the life of me remember it) and looked at even more expensive cars.

this is the good part. while wandering around looking at these gleaming, polished within an inch of their lives, super expensive cars, we stopped to look at some jewelry.

you know, little baubles. rings for men with diamonds the size of cherry tomatoes. and the salesman cajoled me into sticking out my wrist and trying on a retro diamond bracelet with 100 something diamonds. so okay, i'm looking at it and wishing i had some spare cash to spend on something so entirely frivolous when he says" it's 97". i immediately freak out and squeal "take it OFF". Tony is looking at me weird but as is usual, doesn't question my odd behavior and we amble off. it's only later when we're talking about the bracelet and he realizes the salesman meant $97,000 not $9,700.

which explains my freaking out.

after a haircut for me (too short) and a visit to the aquarium where tony shows me a room we have mysteriously missed in all our visits; we went home.

which brings us to sunday. a bus ride to the monterey county fair to hear "the chicano all stars". we got their early enough to talk to a couple of the band members (well, tony did) and get a seat in the front row/center aisle. yippee

many homely pigs, smelly goats (boy, their eyes are weird), angora rabbits (it was hard finding their heads in all that fur - no kidding), super nachos, giant cabbages and a head of lettuce for 10 cents later, we went home.

i woke up exhausted. and how much did all that fun cost? not very much. and we had the bestest time. i think, no i know that most of the fun was because i was with tony. who always laughs and makes me laugh. and i really and truly appreciate that.

why "foo foo girl"?

thought i should explain about the "foo foo girl". being as i am a mature woman and all.

well, the mature part is mostly on the outside. it seems that i mentally see myself as about 21 years old or so. don't know why or how that happened but it's always been so.

so, i have a penchant for girly stuff. (i'm eternally glad i didn't get stuck at the mental age of, say, 13. someone my age should NOT wear t-shirts that are imprinted "Princess".)

i'm drawn to sparkly stuff, shoes that are totally impractical, twirly skirts and, yes, i do have a tiara in my closet. a friend got me a dime store one for my birthday several years ago. and, yes, i do wear it on my birthday. "duh" funny incident: it was my birthday and i totally forgot i had it on. so what do i do? get on the city bus to go home. the driver does one of those double takes. so i exclaim "it's my birthday! like it's totally normal. didn't take it off either

and (confession time) i own too many shoes. hey, i went through them the other day so that i could "weed" them out. even took them out of their original boxes (labeled on the outside) and tried them on. i ended up ditching two pair. again: two pair. the funny thing is that i wear a lot of them on a regular basis.

i don't know why but looking nice and having something girly makes me feel good. there must be some gender issue that i'm contributing to on some level but i don't care. if a 3 tiered, egyptian cotton peasant shirt (swirls nicely) makes me happy then i'm wearing it!

i also laugh a lot and enjoy life as much as i can.

who the heck am i?

you would think that i would have my life figured out by now. after more than 50 years on this planet, being a responsible citizen, wife, mother, co-worker blah, blah, blah. but, i'm learning (much to my dismay) that life lessons don't care how old you are.

so to answer the question of who i am, well i'm not sure i know right now. but i sure am enjoying discovering myself. i'm doing things i never thought i'd ever get to do or even thought of doing in the first place.

like my recent trip to the pacific northwest. i'd only read about it in books and seen pictures in national geographic. i discovered after camping for almost three weeks in a teeny tiny tent, eating too many salami sandwiches, getting eaten alive by mosquitos, seeing real live deer, moose, raccoons and mysteriously scary rodent-things, meeting some really nice people and viewing nature in all her beauty that i have a lot to do and see yet. and that i'm looking forward to the journeys. of course, i'm conveniently forgetting waking up and finding a puddle of water under my sleeping mat, the giant cockroach-buggy thing in the bathroom stall in the middle of the night, and that really bad day when i thought seriously about taking the greyhound through a couple of States to get home.

i could say something pompous about life lessons and journeys.

when i figure out what that is - i'll let you know.